So Many Lists: How to Actually Enjoy the Holidays This Year

Thanksgiving is next week — and Christmas will be here in under six weeks. For many of us, that realization brings both excitement and a little panic. My mind immediately jumps to menus, cleaning lists, gift shopping, decorating, hosting, and trying to make everything “perfect”… all while attempting to remain calm and festive.

But here’s the truth: the holidays don’t have to be something we just survive. And you can certainly let go of the belief, and in my case - the obsession, that everything needs to be perfect. We can slow down enough to enjoy them and to create moments that feel warm and real.

As I look through my many lists, here are a few things I’m keeping in mind as we go into the busy holiday season.

Identify What Really Matters — and What Really Doesn’t

Before creating all the lists, it helps to pause and ask: What do I actually want this season to feel like? Do you want more connections? More deep conversations? More laughter? More rest? A feeling of warmth? Gratitude? Peace? Once you’re clear on that, it becomes easier to let go of the extras — even the “good” things — that just don’t align with your peace or your purpose this year. Everything doesn’t have to happen. And it certainly doesn’t all have to happen the way it did in the past.

Yes, planning ahead helps. But over-planning — where there is no breathing room, back-to-back everything — that’s a recipe for stress and overwhelm. Instead, build intentional space into your days. If possible, leave a little space between one gathering and the next. Take time to sit and enjoy your coffee and the decorations before the busyness of the day begins. 

You’re Allowed to Ask for Help 

Repeat after me: I do not have to do it all by myself. Let people bring the side dishes, fold the napkins, or handle the music. Kids can help more than we think. Guests like contributing. And delegation doesn’t make you less capable — it makes the experience more shared. Holidays feel richer when everyone has a hand in making them happen.

Give Yourself Permission to Be Imperfect

Most of the “perfect” holiday moments we see aren’t real. The imperfect, spontaneous, slightly messy moments are where the real memories live — laughter over a recipe mishap - like the year the roast was burnt to a crisp! 

Or the time the appetizer exploded in the oven. At the time it wasn’t funny, but in hindsight it created a memory we laugh about today. Even though perfection can be impressive, having imperfect moments is also welcoming.

Create Meaning, Not Just Moments

Sometimes we get so caught up in creating the “holiday experience” that we forget to actually experience it. I’m great at doing that. So, slow down and notice the magical moments. The glow of the tree lights, the endless chatter in the kitchen, the warmth of family and friends and the extreme gratitude of having people to love.

Here are a few simple, real-life strategies that make a big difference:

• Start early, but not excessively. Make a short list of the most important tasks and tackle one thing at a time. Not everything belongs on the list.

• Set realistic expectations — for yourself and others. You’re creating memories, not a performance.

• Schedule rest the same way you schedule events. Protect it like it matters — because it does.

• Create a “good enough” mindset. Good enough food, good enough decor, good enough plans — it’s still a good holiday.

• Build in transition moments. Don’t jump from event to event. Give yourself small windows to reset, breathe, or regroup.

• Keep rituals that bring calm — even when busy. A morning walk, a quiet candlelight moment, journaling, prayer, gratitude — whatever helps you feel grounded.

Remember: people remember how they felt, not how things looked. At the end of the day, the holidays aren’t about how much we accomplish — they’re about how much we experience. The laughter, the connection, the gratitude, the simple moments of being together… those are the things that linger long after the season ends. 

So give yourself permission to slow down, to simplify, to enjoy — and to create a holiday that feels meaningful, peaceful, and beautifully human. Because joy isn’t found in doing it all — it’s found in being fully present for what matters most.